Happy New Year's Kinda
by Timelessdemon
Summary: After accidentally sleeping through the count down to New Year's day, Jack decides to throw his own New Year's celebration, managing to screw it up in his own individual way!


**Warning: Many many many, spelling and grammar errors**

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Jack woke up and blinked, his tired blood eyes seeing only black, idly trying to rememmber where he was.

"Jack!- Where are you? You useless boy!"". Jack jolted up from his lying down postion and hit his head on- (he remembered), the old car he'd been lying (and apparentely fallen asleep) under. He crawled out from under the car and stood up, dusting the metal filling and other substances off his favorite red shirt.

He glanced over at her, "What is it? I was busy working!". Wuya rolled her eyes and glared back, "It looked like you were more busy sleeping!". Jack gave a sheepish chuckle, Wuya shrugged, "There's no time to argue! A new shen gong wu has revealed itself it's the-"

Bleep bleep bleep bleep! An annoying tone sounded, interrupting Wuya's explanation. Jack glanced at his watch and smirked, "Hold that thought!" Jack said to Wuya as he dashed off and returned seconds later, carrying a cardboard box, he set it down and opened it to reveal an abundance of fireworks.

Wuya floated closer to the box, "Jack what is that?". "Fireworks!" Jack exclaimed, eyeing her as if she'd gone mad. "I know they're fireworks you insignificant fool!" Wuya snapped, "I meant what are they for?". "For New year's eve, my watch says it's 11:00 now, that means I've got an hour to set these babys up and boom! I gonna have the most impressive firework display and also-".

Wuya half listened, she'd never exactly taken part in these human festivals, and didn't particularly want to start by taking part in this one. But she did know about New year's eve... and that's when it dawn on her. "Er... Jack?", She began, but he didn't notice, continuing to ramble on about his fireworks and New year's eve. "Jack?"- Still no responce. "JACK!" She yelled flying through his stomach. Jack shrieked, clutching his stomach and spinning to face her, "Hey, just cuz you're ghost, it doesn't give you the right to-", Wuya interupted "It's New year's 'day' Jack!".

"...WHAT!" Jack exclaimed, "But my watch, it says 11:00! Look!". "That's am 'not' pm Jack! You'd think an evil boy genius could at least get a reliable watch!". "Aww!" Whined Jack, realising he truly had missed out on New year's eve. "Enough whining Jack" Wuya continued, "We've got to find the shen gong wu before the Xiaolin monks". Jack sighed and put on his black cloak/coat and helipack.

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**A few hours later:**

The black basement lair was empty, but approaching noises could be heard from the door that connected to rest of the mansion. Suddenly the door was flung open, a still arguing Wuya and Jack walked through, Jack closing the door behind them. "Just what did you think you were doing boy!" Wuya exclaimed, "If you had just run faster instead of worrying about those spiders, 'we'd' be the ones holding the 'Cup of tan pi'!".

Jack glared back "It was a race through a dungeon- you know I'm no good with the dark 'or' spiders. Besides, the shen gong wu was useless, all it did was refill itself with water!". "It wasn't water Jack! It was-". Jack re-interupted her "You know what you old hag? I don't care, just stop yelling at me alright?". Jack walked off to one of his Jackbots, Wuya huffed, muttered the word "Teenagers!" and dissapeared.

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**11:00pm:**

Wuya floated back into the basement, Jack had said on the trip to find the cup of tan pi, that he was going to set the fireworks up for 12:00pm today, since he'd missed yeterday's 12:00pm. But as she looked around, she realised she wasn't there, Jackbots were moving around, taking the fireworks outside. She followed them and watched as they set up the fireworks... still no Jack... where'd he gotten to?

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**11:30: At the Xiaolin temple:**

Jack snuck into the shen gong wu vault, he didn't care if the monks saw him or not, he'd just lead them back to his mansion, Wuya wasn't talking to him and he at least wanted someone to appreciate his fireworks display.

He took opened the draw and grabbed the cup of tan pi, shoving it in one of his coat's large pockets and reaching for other wu. The draw suddenly slamed shut and Jack was lucky not to get his fingers caught in it. He looked to his left, Clay stood there glaring at Jack who screamed, Jack turned to his right- Raimundo- he screamed again. He went to back away and walked into someone-Kimiko. He laughed slightly, looking around at all three, "H-hi... BYE!" He turned on his helipack and flew away from them.

As he flew out of the shen gong wu vault he heard Omi, "Jack Spicer! You will not be getting away with this!". Omi who had been hidden until now, jumped from the roof of the wu vault and attempted grab Jack, who dodged slightly, Omi missed and fell, landing gracefully on the grass floor, the other three monks catching up and standing behind Omi.

Jack laughed his evil laugh "See ya later Xiaolin losers!".

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**11:50: Back at Spicer mansion's garden:**

Wuya idly floated around watching the robots set up the fireworks, She paused, she could hear Jack's small helipack in the distance. Soon enough Jack flew into sight, Xiaolin monks following close behind on Dojo. Jack didn't seem to mind that they were following he landed softly on the ground, and smirked as he stepped past Wuya and over to the snack table his robots had laid out for him.

"Hey there Xiaolin losers!" Jack smirked "Want some snacks?". Clay went to walk towards the table but Raimundo stopped him. "What we want is our shen gong wu" Raimundo answered. "Yeah!" Clay half-agreed, trying not to look at the snack filled table.

Kimiko looked around, only just seeming to notice what the Jackbots were doing, "What's with the fireworks?", the others glanced around, also just noticing the firworks.

"Oh yeah" Said Jack offhandedly, "That reminds me... Jackbots, when I say Happy new year's you set off the fireworks, got it?". A rush of "afirmitive" and "yes master" was heard from the robots.

"Jack Spicer" Omi said, jumping up on the snack table so he could face Jack at his level, "You shall not be getting away with this!". Jack stared back at Omi and grabbed something from one of the plates, before activating his helipack and flying out of the little monk's reach. "Aww! Come on everyone lighten up! enjoy the fireworks, besides it not like-" he paused to put the snack into his mouth and chew it, his smirk slowly vanished and a frantic look adorned his features "Who put chilli peppers out! Argh!".

It felt like his mouth was on fire, he needed something to help cool down, of course! He took the cup of tan pi out of his pocket and shouted "Cup of tan pi!".

"No Jack!", he drank quickly ignoring Wuya and how the taste of chilli made the water taste werid. The cup kept re-filling until he repeated the name of the wu and placed it back into his pocket.

Jack accidentally sank slightly in the air, before flying back up again and glancing down at them, he felt really strange. "Hey" he called "What are doing down there?". Hushed snickers we heard from the Xiaolin monks and Wuya shouted: "You fool!".

"Wha-" Jack sank further in the sky, before righting himself again. "Jack Spicer's drunk!" Kimiko whispered, the other monks began to laugh even louder.

Back up in the sky, Jack glared down at them, "Why you all laughin nothin's funny, stop laughin or al...", he drifted off in midsentence, not being able to think of a good 'or'. "Jack!" Wuya shouted, ignoring the monk's laughter "That wasn't water you hastily drank, it was wine, come down before you get hu-".

"-You know what you old hag, it's always about you isn't it? You always tell me what to do weeellllll not anymore and you know why? cause... Look I jus wanna celebrate 'n' say happy-". "No dude!" Raimundo yelled, the monks stopping their laughter as they remembered that 'happy new year's' was meant to be code for the Jackbots to start the fireworks- and Jack was right in the firing line.

The situation had suddenly become serious, Wuya didn't seem to realise this and continued to argue with him.

"You are the most incompetant excuse for an evil genius I've ever met- go on enjoy your little... whatever". "Not whatever!" Jack exclaimed "That's the problem with you! You never once wish me a happy (the monks gasped) Easter!" (the monks sighed). "...A happy (the monks yet again gasped...) Halloween! (...and sighed), "...a happy christmas!" (The monks gasped and sighed again, they quickly nodded to each other and climbed on top of the mansion roof, in an attempt to knock Jack out of the line of fire. Clay -the heaviest and so most likely to knock Jack out of orbit- jumped from the roof and grabbed Jack.

"Hey lemme go!" Jack slurred as Clay clung to Jack's feet, the added weight of Clay causing Jack to fall slowly to the ground. Jack eventually managed to make Clay let go (Clay didn't have far to fall so he was fine). Jack drifted back up into the air, looking back at Wuya, "You don't even wish me a happy-" (the monks gasped...) "thanksgiving!" (...The monks gave a final sigh, glad to see Jack drifting back towards the ground).

Jack heard the sighs and looked over to them (still a good 20 metres up in the sky) "Am not stupid ya know!", He slurred, "Just what'd ya think a was gonna say? Happy new year's-"

The fireworks were spectacular but Jack saw... well Jack (nothing). The one of the fireworks hit his helipack and broke it, he hurled towards the ground and landed in heap (considering the fact that non of fireworks 'actually' hit him, he was incredibly lucky). He was however, knocked unconcious "Jack!" Wuya's slighty worried voice called, she floated over to him the Xiaolin monks following. Raimundo tapped Jack slightly with his foot, "I think he's still breathing".

"You- medi-bot, fix him!", Wuya barked at one of the many bots, suprisingly it listened to her, and carried Jack inside the mansion. Three of monks went to follow but Raimundo stopped them, "Come on! Jack'll be fine! Let's eat!" Omi and Kimiko went to argue the point but Clay ran back to the table they followed him.

Wuya floated after the medi-bot muttering to herself, "Oh hey Jack/Wuya!" Raimundo shouted sfter them.

"What?"Wuya muttered. "Happy new year's" The monks all shouted. Jack unseen by the others, opened his eyes, smirked- before falling back into an alcohol aided unconciousness. Wuya, if not for the mask would have given them an annoyed glare, before following the medi-bot and leaving the Xiaolin monks to eat and watch the fireworks in awe.

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**Lol, haven't been given time to type anything for a while, just needed something to get me used to writing stories again- lol, feels like a while anyways! (Hugs computer "So glad you're here!").**

**(A new chapter for Schizophrenia 'should' be out in the next day or so... lol, hopefully!)**

**Anyways, as always... please read and review!**


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